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The thinnest girl in the room
Dear Bee, Last night, I felt entirely out of place in an OA meeting. For one, I was significantly younger than everyone else. This is not all that uncommon for me, as I am the youngest employee in both...
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EDNOS aka the neglected middle child
Dear Bee, In my therapy session, I was sharing how I occasionally feel like I don’t “fit in” with the classic eating disorder symptoms. Technically, according to the current DSM-IV-TR, I meet the...
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late night thoughts on sugar, making excuses, and becoming a therapist
Dear Bee, I need to go to sleep, but I can’t right now. I’m too wired and jittery. There’s actually a million things I can be doing right now (finish homework, put away my laundry, clean my room, prep...
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Writing as my own spiritual awakening
Dear Bee, I was at this incredibly uplifting OA meeting this morning and we started out by reading out of the big book (of Alcoholics Anonymous). I really need to read this literature in its entirety....
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Brief recovery updates: sugar-free for 30 days & a new sponsor
Dear Bee, PS: None of this is really exciting (not as thrilling as the whirlwind of my afternoon, anyway), but I wanted to document it, because I promised that I would. After a somewhat nightmare-ish...
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My new sponsor and redefining my beautiful friend, Bee.
Dear Bee, I have a sponsor. This time, she’s real and genuine, rather than someone who brushes me off and seems to always be “running out the door” whenever I called. And this woman is so sweet. She...
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just a compulsive overeater in a room full of anorexia and bulimia
Dear Bee, So yesterday, I went to this OA meeting that I frequent on a routine basis. This was the first meeting I had ever attended and the timing and scheduling tends to just work well with my...
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Cheating myself and others
Dear Bee, Being abstinent puts us into a new world. Instead of trying to cheat ourselves and get away with it, we learn to be straight with ourselves and others. Instead of escaping problems, we learn...
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update to last post
Dear Bee, In response to the last post I wrote about an hour ago, I did end up calling my sponsor, and it went really well. We’re two completely different people, but she knew exactly how I was...
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Our problems were of our own making
Dear Bee, After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol (Big Book,103). This quote resonates so well with me because ever since I actually took responsibility for the...
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How I’m digging myself out of the recovery slump and moving forward
Dear Bee, I was in such a recovery slump and that feeling of being absolutely stuck is a dangerous feeling to have. Lately, I have doubted my own strength and willpower; I have doubted my capabilities;...
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the balanced life vs the compulsive life
Dear Bee, Well, I’ve made it to three meetings in three days. So far, so good. Today, we read about the infamous Step Four (I’m still taking my sweet time on Step Two) and did a 15-minute free write...
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Pantless Yoga
Dear Bee, I never really thought I could ever wrap my head around that crazy, cultish-sounding Anonymous jargon known as Higher Power. But, after a few months of attending these OA meetings, I have....
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the dreaded fearless and searching moral inventory
Dear Bee, Step Four in any Twelve Steps program asks us to make the infamous fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves. I haven’t gotten this far in my work yet, but I will be reaching it...
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Changes in Attitude: A Then-Now Analysis
To explore the progression of my attitude towards recovery and mental stability, as opposed to just my food or behaviors, over the past few months, I composed a then-now comparison of the...
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May I Cherish and Live in the Present Moment
Dear Bee, Yesterday, in one of my classes, we went around the room and expressed one wish we had for ourselves. May I cherish and live in the present moment. That was mine. This has always been a...
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Eating disorders aren’t boring and how this blog is changing my life
Dear Bee, Eating disorders aren’t boring illnesses. Instead of an abusive relationship with someone else, you’re just in one with yourself. And abusive relationships may be turbulent, volatile, toxic,...
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My first OA speak!!
Dear Bee, Allowing myself to immerse myself in gratitude is arguably the greatest feeling in the world. I spoke for twenty minutes at a meeting today. Twenty, solid minutes. Without any preparation....
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Is food a problem for you? Isn’t it a problem for everyone?
Dear Bee, My appetite is still basically nonexistent. I’m still eating, but it’s not much. I know this is a normal side effect of the medication, and I am hoping that my body adjusts. Well, the...
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Overeaters Anonymous Drop-Out
Dear Bee, I walked into my first OA meeting in late November. It was cold. Dark. All women. At my therapist’s (routine) suggestion, I went. And I stayed. Because that’s what everyone kept telling me...
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